Goodies General Notes and Table of Contents (read this first!)

Chapter One

For the life of me, I can't remember the inspiration for this scene. I think it was another free-write that just happened to go really well.

One thing I hate, as I go back and read my old stuff, is coming across a bad joke. There's one on the very first page that I absolutely hate. I wrote it, which means that I must have thought it was clever at some point, but it now makes me embarrassed. (Just so you don't say "There's a lot of bad jokes here--which is it?", it was the line: "She had parents, of course. Biology usually insists upon that." Ugh.)

That said, I really like this chapter. There's very little going on--it's essentially a lot of backstory. One of the great things about writing humor is that you can get away with things that you couldn't normally. One cardinal rule of book writing is that you probably shouldn't start out with backstory, the reason being that it's not very interesting--for most backstory to be interesting your reader already has to be emotionally invested in your characters, and no reader is after two pages. However, if you're writing humor then your reader reads not because of emotional attachment but because it's fun to read. Or, at least, that's the hope.

For years now I've planned to go downtown and photograph the locations mentioned in this chapter, as kind of a walking tour of Chapter One. Unfortunately for me (and for you, I guess) I've never done it and one of the buildings has now been torn down. So what I've done instead is to post a map from Google Earth:

This is a map of a section of downtown Salt Lake City. The chase, as you know, begins at Temple Square, which is where #1 is (the roundish building is the Tabernacle and the greenish rectangle is the Salt Lake Temple--it has a copper roof).

#2 is the corner of South Temple and West Temple, and is the location of the following paragraphs:

Without thinking, I jumped into the street, and a Ford slammed on its brakes and skidded a little in the slush. I ignored it and splashed across the wet cement until I reached the curb. Horns were honking behind me as I saw Rebekah and Wool Coat disappear around the corner.

A slipped a little as I was turning, and had to grab hold of a light post to keep myself from falling completely. I dropped to one knee, unexpectedly feeling both pain and icy wetness down my leg.

#3 Is the parking garage of Crossroads Mall, which was torn down in the spring/summer of 2007. This is where Wool Coat tries to hide with Rebekah, and where Eric gets punched in the face.

#4 is the setting of the following paragraphs:

They were far ahead of me, but Rebekah’s effort to slow the escape of her kidnapper, and my determination to run despite blurring vision, were enough to keep him in my view. They crossed First South, passed a few shops and a bar, and turned east, heading into the alleyways behind several businesses. I hobbled a little faster to make sure I didn’t lose their trail. Fortunately, it appeared as though they were the first to head that direction since the snow began, and I followed their tracks easily.

They cut through a grassy area next to an electrical substation, and then down a narrow walkway between an office building and a restaurant. By strange coincidence, it was one of the few restaurants in Salt Lake that she and I had been to together.

(The restaurant, by the way, is Benihana. Eric loves him some tepanyaki.)

#5 is the setting for:

We were back at the street, and I could finally see them again. They were across Second South, and heading further south between two large red brick office buildings. I stopped at the curb, wiping blood from my face and trying to see if I would get hit by a car if I ran.

“Are you okay?” a man asked, emerging from a theater behind me.

“Call the police,” I answered shakily, nodding to him that I was alright.

“What do I tell them?” he stammered.

I didn’t answer, as I was halfway across the street before he finished he sentence.

#6 is:

Instead, as soon as he and his very imposing back turned, I leapt to my feet and chased him. I jumped, sending the full weight of my body, focused through my shoulder, into the small of his back. My freshman football coach would have been so proud. Somehow, however, I didn’t knock him to the ground, free my semi girlfriend, escape, and score the winning touchdown. Instead, he caught me mid leap, redirected my flight, and shuttled me past him, over a railing.

It was a long way down.

***

For the life of me, I can't remember the exact origins of this book. I know that a very early version of the story originated during a conversation with my wife as we were driving home from Yellowstone Park. At the time, the book was science fiction, and the necklace and ring mentioned were actually a necklace and bracelet which had some kinds of wacky sci-fi characteristics. Now that I think about it, that was the real story idea: "A Very Important Item of Jewelry comes into the possession of a college kid, and he gives it to his girlfriend."

There was a really neat scene in that original, sci-fi version about a Mexican scientist who is attempting to cross the Rio Grande while being chased by thugs and dogs. Just so you know.

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