Let’s look at it from the bottom up, assuming that the people with the least amount of votes got killed first. It’s no surprise to Carole “You’ve Got a Friend” King down there. And Patti Page’s “How Much Is That Doggie In the Window” doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence. Carly Simon did the soundtrack to the Piglet Movie, so she was probably targeted just for that, and Johnny Mathis’ “Winter is a Marshmallow World” didn’t earn him a lot of allies. Barry Manilow’s “Copacabana” talks about a murder, which is getting us somewhere, but it couldn’t overcome “I Write the Songs”. I was surprised to see Shirley Bassey didn’t survive a little longer, and I really think Rosemary Clooney, in her prime, could have been a vicious knife fighter.
The big surprise for me came from Julie Andrews. Way to break the stereotype! She probably lulled everyone into a false sense of security and stabbed them while singing a lullaby: “Stay awake, don’t close your EYES! AAAH!”
The last two standing are Willie Nelson and Frank Sinatra, and Old Blue Eyes wins handily. No surprise there. If there are really no rules in this street fight, he might have just called in a couple “friends” to do the dirty work for him. (Although I have no doubt he could have won it himself without help.)

Female Votes: This is interesting: women gave the edge to Willie Nelson by a decent margin. They also led the Julie Andrews contingent, something the men didn’t agree on at all.

Male Votes: Men give an enormous edge to Frank, and the first women they pick are Barbra and Bette. Speaking as a man, this just makes SO MUCH SENSE. I don’t know why women would disagree.

Mal Reynolds: Best Captain

Best Captain–Top Ten

Spock: Best First Officer

Best First Officer: Top Ten

Kaylee: Best Engineer

Best Engineer: Top Ten

Doctor Who: Best Science Officer (The poll didn’t specify which incarnation of the doctor.)

Best Science Officer: Top Ten

Hawkeye Pierce: Best Medical Officer

Best Medical Officer: Top ten

C-3PO: Best Communications Officer

Best Communications Officer: Top Ten (C-3PO beat Radar by just one vote!)

Thor: Best Security Officer

Best Security Officer: Top Ten

Wash: Best Pilot

Best Pilot: Top Ten

TARDIS: Best Ship

Best Ship: Top Ten

In the category of Males Kissing: the clear winner is Harley Quinn, which honestly surprised me. I was expecting Mystique to sweep this category, but she came in a small second place. What can we conclude about these results? Guys like insane girls? I don’t know.

Male Marry: Talia Al Ghul was the winner, which also surprised me. Emma Frost did well, and I assume that’s because she’s not always evil–she was a good guy much of the time. But Talia Al Ghul? Is it because of the recent popularity of Dark Knight Rises? Is it because Batman had a relationship with her? It’s a mystery. You will note that Harley Quinn drops right off the radar, presumably because she’s crazy.

Female Kiss results: This illustrates why I will never understand women. Loki? Really? He’s such a sissy. Granted, it’s not like there are a lot of choices here, but Loki? I think I’ll just look at these results and then remember the scene in Avengers where The Hulk slams Loki back and forth like a rag doll.

Female Marry: Lex Luthor is the clear winner here. I think the best explanation for this came in a tweet I got yesterday from Pam van Hylckama: “He’s a 1% kind of guy. I like shoes.” That seems like a good enough reason as any. (Though I’d like to believe there’s also a correlation between wanting to marry someone and their baldness.)

All Kill: This is both genders choosing who they’d kill. The obvious choice is the Joker. But! As we will see in just a moment, that Joker hatred is very gender-based.

Females by far lead the way for killing the Joker. Not that I’m going to argue with them about it–he’s a perfectly fine candidate for killing. I just find it interesting that men do not share the same opinion, as evidenced by the next graph.

Male Kill: The Joker is still a close second, but the real winner here is Galactus. Here’s my theory: Galactus is supremely powerful, a possessor of cosmic power–almost god-like. I think guys want to kill him because if they can kill Galactus then they must be pretty darn awesome. I mean, anyone with a sniper rifle and some good luck can kill the Joker. But to kill Galactus–that takes some really massive power.