Welcome to a brief history of my life.


Where I've Learned:

I went to kindergarten at Hawthorne Elementary, which was a swarthy little sweatshop of a school. (It has since been rebuilt, and is much nicer.)

I hated the place. My most vivid memory was swinging on the monkey bars and chipping a tooth, but I also have a deep, scarring images of having to fill out worksheets every day, from dawn till dusk. We would go sit on the rug, and the teacher would show us our packet of worksheets, and she’d tell us the answers to every single item, and then we’d go complete them. And all the other kids took all day, and I’d finish and play with the toys, and then the next day I’d pretend I was sick, so I’d never have to go back.

So, for first grade I started going to Lowell Elementary, which was a full-time ELP program. It was more challenging, but does that mean I ever turned in my homework? Of course not.

Following this trend, I went to a special ELP program at West High School, instead of ever attending a Junior High, and I immediately started getting D’s, because I still never turned in any homework. Why is this? Laziness, mostly.

The point of ELP at West High was this: if you get a jump start on your classes, then you can take AP (Advanced Placement) classes your junior year, and take IB (International Baccalaureate) classes your senior year, and start college with mountains of credits, and then become Doogie Howser MD. And yet I still managed to graduated from this program completely unable to type Baccalaureate without a spell checker.

Actually, I only graduated with a partial IB diploma, because I got too interested in extra-curricular activities. My brother did it, though, and had something like 155 college credits when he graduated high school -- he was a junior at BYU after only one semester. Oddly enough, my IB classes were in math – IB Math Studies, and IB Linear Algebra -- and yet I’ve never gone on to care about math at all.

But, oh how I loved those extra-curriculars. I was in West’s choir at a time when the choir was in the national news for various controversies, and managed to end up interviewed on 20/20. I also was on the TV crew, and loved every minute of it. I was on the newspaper staff, and wrote a grand total of zero (0) articles in the three semesters I was there. My senior year I was a Student Body Officer, and had all sorts of fun watching assembly attendance drop to all-time lows. I was also on the Seminary Council, which was the most life-changing aspect of high school.

After my mission, I went to the Salt Lake Community College, where I started studying architecture (I know that I talk about this somewhere else on this website, but I don’t remember where). I studied it for about a year, having a really good time, but finally decided that it just wasn’t for me. I switched my major (very briefly) to anthropology, but never really got sold on the program. I finished at SLCC with an associates in General Studies, which looks fantastic on a resume, let me tell you.

The U of U was filled with much less indecision. I entered the Political Science program, with an emphasis in International Relations, and a minor in History, and I finished in less than two years. I learned a lot of really neat stuff, and loved most of my classes, and now have a brain filled with useless, non-job-getting knowledge.

Very temporarily, I was enrolled for one semester in the U of U's Masters of Education program.

Currently, I've decided that there's a lot of money in the world and I wants to get me some of it. Consequently, I'm now enrolled in BYU's fulltime MBA program, focusing in brand management and market research. With any luck, I'll be a fatcat corporate pig before long, oppressing the masses.

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